Bring on the Hormones!

I'm out this cycle.
On to cycle 34.

I am sitting here on CD 3, getting a little nervous about what is going to start in 2 days. In 2 days I will begin taking clomid for the first time. I am also excited as I'm not sure what is in store this cycle.

I know that clomid can alter your moods, but I have no idea how much it will affect me. I have been having spurts of bad mood lately, so I feel that there is a strong possibility that I just may rip someones face off. I guess I should give some people a forewarning.

I am also trying to figure out the job part of my life. I'm starting to not be so happy where I am, but it is hard to give it up. It pays decent, and has paid vacation and benefits. I had an interview somewhere else, pays less which I'm fine with, has benefits as well, but may only be part time to start. I don't think that is something J and I can handle right now financial wise, but it's hard to weight happiness over money.

Losing My Sanity, One Trip to the Bathroom at a Time

Now I remember how I have been able to keep my sanity over these last 3 years of TTC!!!!

DONT KEEP HPTS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!

UGH! I am driving myself crazy thinking about testing every day!
I have already POAS twice this week, which is just silliness. Right now I am sitting at 13dpo. Last time I had a BFP, I had a negative at 14dpo, and didn't have a positive until 19dpo, and even then on the cheapie it was weak.

BFP from March 2011 cycle

Much of Nothing in the TWW

Not much really to update right now....just hanging out in the two week wait....just waiting for AF to come, or preferably not come.

Looking at my past charts, I have learned that I need to track a little better. There are days that I didn't track when I took my meds, didn't track when we had sex..... le sigh

my chart seemed to do something this cycle that it has never done before. There is a significant jump on 9 and 10 dpo. Could be something hopeful, could just be some odd luck. Until about CD 32 or later, I'm not getting my hopes up.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/kishar/?i=4844917&

Don't start obsessing!

I try not to be the kind of person that stresses or obsesses over my cycles.  I learned very early on in my ttc journey that this could just lead to a lot of pain and unessasary headaches. 

This cycle feels different I guess. Maybe I am a little more hopeful.  I compared this months fertility friend chart to the cycle where I got pregnant.  I set it up so the cover line and the ovulation lines were lined up with each other and this is what I got.  It's eeryly pretty close.

OMG OPK!

I decided to use a bunch of OPKs this cycle, so I can actually determine if they work properly for me, and if I am ovulating on my own.

This picture is from CD 8 (right) every day to CD 17 (left). You can clearly see that I had a definite positive!!! :) This matched with my BBT results, and CM, I ovulated on CD 17.

I'm not super hopeful for this cycle, as things came up, and the last time we tried was on CD 15. I am happy that OPKs work for me though.

A to Z of TTC

A. Age when you started TTC: 25

B. Baby Dancing or Sex: Depends on what day of the cycle it is ;)

C. Children wanted: 3...but at this point I will be happy with 1

D. Dogs/Cats/Fill in Children: 1 dog, 2 cats

E. Essential Oils/Vitamins/Snake Oils: tried taking Soy, currerntly just prenatals

F. Fertility Meds I’ve taken: Metformin, and starting clomid next cycle

G. Gain: ummm weight....unfortunately. The joys of PCOS

H. HSG (Hystosalpingogram): not yet, but in the cards if not pregnant by December

I. Infertile Pet Peeves: How people act like it is so easy

J. Job title: Customer Care Representative

K. Kid’s names you’re afraid will be taken by the time you can use them: why would I mention them if I dont want them taken?

L. Length of time TTC: since July 2009 - almost 37 months

M. Miscarriages: 1 MMC, 1 possible Chemical

N. Number of times you’ve switched OB/GYNS, REs, FSs: I have just met my first FS. Unless I want to drive to another city 2 hours+ away, I wont be.

O. Ovarian quality: Cysty

P. POAS or wait for AF: Wait for AF, most of the time

Q. Quote from an obnoxious fertile: "just dont think about it and it will happen" Hard not to think about it when people are always asking about it.

S. Sperm: Great!

T. Time you tried naturally: 18 months

U. Uterus quality: as far as I know ok...never been tested

V. Vagina: Labia! Oh I thought we were naming parts here.

W. What baby stuff do you already have?: Way more than I should. Stroller, cloth diapers, diaper bag, clothes

X. X-tra X-tra Hear all about it! How many people know the ins and outs of our crazy TTC journey? Parents, Inlaws, sister, a couple friends

Y. Yearly Exam: The thing I acutally only have to go to once every 3 years, but somehow end up getting every year...

Z. Zits: never ever ever ever got zits on my face until I stopped taking BCP.... Le Sigh!

".....skipping this cycle."

I mentioned to J that were are close to the fertile time of the month, so we are going to want to time things correctly. He turns to me and says "I was thinking about skipping this cycle"

WTF!!!

No reason as to why....It kinda threw me off, I didn't respond. I think he may be waiting for the clomid cycle; we have it why not wait to use it?
My theory is why miss out on a cycle. If we get pregnant this cycle, AWESOME!! If we end up possibly miscarrying again, then I have the clomid for next. If we don't get pregnant, then I have the clomid for next.

I think its silly to just skip a cycle, with no real reason.

I Would Die For That.

I Would Die For That - Kellie Coffey

I just came across this video today. Had to share it. 

Walking on Sunshine

At my job, I currently work the night shift. I work 4 days a week, 8pm to 630am. Most of the time, even during the weekends, I am not outside when the sun is up. In the winter, the sun is like some imaginary object.

A bunch of us at work decided that after work, bright and early in the morning, we would start going for walks. We all have some weight to lose, and it gets us outside during the nice sunny weather, and of course we all need the motivation to get active.

I have to say that these walks have been amazing and exactly what I, and the others, have needed. I have lost about 10 pounds in the last month, which I'm pretty ecstatic about. I've learned that I really like going for walks, and I have come to realise that there are actual great, beautiful places to walk in my city. These walks have energized us, and made us feel better physically, and some even emotionally.

I never realised how much nature was in my city, until we started these walks. It has made me love where I live a little more.

$100.00 Baby

I was way more nervous about my appointment than I had to be.


I got there about 220pm for my 230pm appointment. I expected to sit in the waiting room for a long time, but was called back within 5minutes.
I sat in the actual room until about 250, when not my actual Fertility doctor came in, but a resident. This didn't really bother me, as I seem to always see a resident for something. She was uber nice, and easy to talk to, and didn't even mention my weight which I thought would be an issue.


We started by her getting some of my background information; how long have we been TTC, are my cycles normal, has J had a sperm analysis, etc etc etc. It would have probably been a good thing if my family doctor had forwarded a little more information over besides my referral letter, basic blood work and that I have PCOS. The clinic didn't even know how I was diagnosed with PCOS.


After our talk, having a full exam, and pap, and the fact that my cycles are actually pretty regular, her and the my Fertility doctor decided that going on Clomid would be the best for me! :)


I went and picked up my prescription, which has cost me $100.00 for three months, as well as my Rx for Metformin (which my doctor only gave me one months worth which makes no sense). I am on CD11 right now, so I just missed out on using it this cycle. The plan is for the next cycle, to take 50mg on CD 5-9, and to make sure we do what needs to be done on CD12 - 20. On CD 24, I am to go back to the clinic and have blood work to check my progesterone levels; to make sure that I actually ovulated.


If I don't get my period by CD40, I am supposed to take a HPT - who the heck is going to wait till CD40....really??!???!. If I get a negative, then I call the clinic to see if I in fact ovulated. If I ovulated, then I try again with the 50mg, If I didn't ovulate, then I try the next cycle with 100mg.


I have an appointment in December to follow up if the Clomid doesn't work for me and if I end up not ovulating. At that point they will see if there are other issues, like blocked tubes etc.


I hope in the next 3 cycles this works out for me!!! A $100.00 baby will definitely be worth it!!!

Apprehensive, Worried.....

...... Nervous!


Yup, have to say that I am a lot more nervous than I thought I was going to be. In just under 12 hours is my fertility appointment. I have no idea what to expect. I have no idea if anything will happen. Will she decide right then that I am eligible to take clomid or femara? Will she want to do more tests for my PCOS? Will she decide that I have to lose more weight before she will help?


ACK! I just dont know....I hope I will get some sleep tonight!